From: R C Nesbit on
Got a call today from an Indian chappie - 3rd in the past
couple of weeks, *telling* me I has a problem with my PC,
it was running slow and kept crashing.

I said no, it wasn't running slow or crashing, but he
persisted, so I played along.

He went on to tell me that my computer "is riddled with
worms, viruses, and illegal programs which have downloaded,
and which were eating away at my computers memory, slowing
it down and making it crash"

"What operating system do you use? Windows XP, Vista, or
Windows 7?"
All 3
"Yes but which one do you use?"
All 3 of them
"Yes, but which one? XP, Vista or Windows 7?"
All 3

This went on for a while, and eventually I relented when he
asked me to start my PC, and "which operating system is
it?"
XP

So he got me to open event viewer - by a round about route
- and open Applications, and asked me how may errors I
could see? - "The ones marked in Red!"
None
"Could you please scroll down until you see them"
scroll scroll
None
"Have you reached the bottom of the page yet?"
No - OK, I've found one!
"Only one? there must be a lot!"
scroll scroll
OK, here are some from 2 months ago.
"Well then, these are the problems we are talking about, do
you see?"
Well, er, no, but do continue

Meantime I could hear typical call-centre type noises in
the background - along with cheers and clapping when no
doubt someone scored a punter...

So anyway, eventually Charley-Wallah said he was going to
pass me on to his supervisor who would explain how they
were going to help me.

So I got to level 2, a lady-wallah,

"We are THE Microsoft service company"
No - you are A Microsoft service company
"We are THE Microsoft service company"
"We are THE Microsoft service company"
No - you are A Microsoft service company

For a bit,

She asked me to open my web browser and go to google, and
type in the search bar:
www.onlinepchub.com
So I punched it into the address bar, at the same time into
whois, and read out the parent company name & address,
which didn't phase her or make her twig on.

So a while later we got to the click on this button bit,
and it wanter my name, telephone number, & email addy
Aldous Huxley etc. duly entered, and the 6 digit 'case
code' she read out, and
Oh what a surprise!
A warning box popped up - telling me I had a problem! -
alongside the Firefox dialog warning me I was about to
download <something>.exe
She was expecting the warning box, it was in the script,
the firefox dialog wasn't.
When I told her I was using Firefox, she sounded shocked,
and told me to use IE! - I said no thanks, Firefox is fine,
and if you think I am going to download and run an
executable on the say so of someone who I don't know from
Adam on an unsolicited phone call, it is no wonder your
customers PCs are riddled with worms and viruses!

"But you got us from Google! you trust Google don't you?"
......
time passes
......
Eventually I am elevated to 3rd level, a tech support
wallah. To his credit it only took him 3 or 4 minutes to
finally ask me if I was a "computer engineer" and when I
said "yes, sort of" he got a bit miffed and said...
"Why didn't you say so instead of wasting so much of our
time!?"

"I *wanted* to waste so much of your time!"

click <no carrier>


--
Rob_P
UKRM(at)indqualtec.co.uk
uppercase(d) BBIWYMC#1 BOG#11? MRO#31 IBCDBBB#1(kotl)
FJ1200, CCM130 Benelli Cabriolet (gone)
Looks like Rab C Nesbit.

From: vulgarandmischevious on
R C Nesbit <spam(a)ukrm.net> wrote:

>it only took him 3 or 4 minutes to
>finally ask me if I was a "computer engineer" and when I
>said "yes, sort of"

A self-employed computer consultant, no less.

>click <no carrier>

What *was* the point of this post? To impress everyone with how smart
you are?
From: Gyp on
R C Nesbit wrote:
> Got a call today from an Indian chappie - 3rd in the past
> couple of weeks, *telling* me I has a problem with my PC,
> it was running slow and kept crashing.

My 86-year-old rather gets this 2 to 3 times a day, so I was delighted
when I answered his phone this morning to be told there was a problem
with the PC.

I was most disappointed when the caller hang up.

Perhaps it was the way I said "I'm glad you've called, it's been a
nightmare" that did it.


--
Gyp
GSX1300RZ R80RT R65RS
replace .co.uk with .com to reply
From: Nige on
On 17/07/2010 19:50, R C Nesbit wrote:
> Got a call today from an Indian chappie - 3rd in the past

A meeting of minds.

From: frag on
In article <VA.0000303b.06b671c0(a)ukrm.net>, spam(a)ukrm.net says...
>
> "Why didn't you say so instead of wasting so much of our
> time!?"
>
> "I *wanted* to waste so much of your time!"
>
> click <no carrier>

Hah, nice one.

I see they have a "Live Chat" link.

It would be such a pity if dozens of people decided to click on it and
waste their time.

--
frag