Einstein
in [Harley-Davidson]
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From: Omar on 18 Mar 2007 14:28 the heekster wrote: > On Wed, 14 Mar 2007 09:31:50 -0400, Dave Nichols > <dmnichol(a)comcast.net> wrote: > >>Einstein's birthday is March 14. He would now be 127. Few people >>remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, >>after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. >>He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed. He >>postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the >>attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be >>known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty. > > There are two theories, Special Relative Titty, and General Relative > Titty. > > In Special Relative Titty, the faster you go, the shorter your > johnson becomes. This is called the Lorentz contraction, named after > one of Einsteins associates, who observed the phenomena first hand, > during a shortarm inspection in Minsk. > > In General Relative Titty, the massive breasts actually curve > space-time, and time slows down in the frame of view of the breasts. > This phenomenon, called time dilation, has the interesting effect upon > human males, who theoretically, can live forever, due to time > dilation, whilst viewing extremely massive breasts. Gravitational > lensing often makes it appear as if the male's eyes are crossed. > > Unfortunately, Einstein died before he could finish his work on his > theory of Every Titty. This theory would have tied up the entire > universe in a single, tidy, bodacious, massive mammalian protuberance. Thanks for clearing that up for me Heek. Omar, BS6, AHh106
From: Curt on 18 Mar 2007 16:59 Dave Nichols writ: > Einstein's birthday is March 14. He would > now be 127. Few people remember that > the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, > Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage > dissolved in 1919. > > He stated that he was attracted to Elsa > because she was well endowed. He > postulated that if you are attracted to > women with large breasts, the attraction > is stronger if there is a DNA connection. > This came to be known as Einstein's > Theory of Relative Titty. "Beertender, a round for the house as I nominate Dave as the TITular RMH humorist. Of course, he has lots of compeTITion." -- Curt
From: the heekster on 18 Mar 2007 18:43
On Sun, 18 Mar 2007 18:28:42 GMT, Omar <me(a)somewhere.net> wrote: >the heekster wrote: > >> On Wed, 14 Mar 2007 09:31:50 -0400, Dave Nichols >> <dmnichol(a)comcast.net> wrote: >> >>>Einstein's birthday is March 14. He would now be 127. Few people >>>remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, >>>after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. >>>He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed. He >>>postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the >>>attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection. This came to be >>>known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty. >> >> There are two theories, Special Relative Titty, and General Relative >> Titty. >> >> In Special Relative Titty, the faster you go, the shorter your >> johnson becomes. This is called the Lorentz contraction, named after >> one of Einsteins associates, who observed the phenomena first hand, >> during a shortarm inspection in Minsk. >> >> In General Relative Titty, the massive breasts actually curve >> space-time, and time slows down in the frame of view of the breasts. >> This phenomenon, called time dilation, has the interesting effect upon >> human males, who theoretically, can live forever, due to time >> dilation, whilst viewing extremely massive breasts. Gravitational >> lensing often makes it appear as if the male's eyes are crossed. >> >> Unfortunately, Einstein died before he could finish his work on his >> theory of Every Titty. This theory would have tied up the entire >> universe in a single, tidy, bodacious, massive mammalian protuberance. > >Thanks for clearing that up for me Heek. > No problemo. Right now, I'm working on what I call the Scurr-brewski Exclusion Principle. I can't share all the details until its published, but in a nutshell, it states that if Randy Scurr is in a room with someone else's beer, both disappear in a sudsy annihilation, and Randy re-appears somewhere else, but the amber fluid doesn't. The presence of Harley-Davidson Shovelhead (TM) motors in this situation, appears to have a catalytic effect. Today's Quote: "Shut up, Ra-andy!" --Donnie Baker -- the heekster, BS#4, preposterous |